A loss is a loss, no matter how small
When I feel compelled to write, I do it without interruption, without thought, without second-guessing what is going to end up on paper.
Today is one of those days.
Let's chat about loss, it could be loss of anything really, the loss of a baby, the loss of a friend, the loss of feeling like you belong, all have pretty big feelings and all should be acknowledged as for what they are, loss.
But for this blog, without taking away from whatever it is you have lost this week, let's chat about the loss of a baby.
What "qualifies" you as having had a loss?, in some peoples eyes it is gestation, so many times I have witnessed others ask "well how far along were you?", this to me, is a question you ask someone when you weigh up how much sympathy and support that person who has experienced the loss deserves, or needs, the truth is, a loss is a loss!.
Remember the day you pee'd on the stick and the little lines came up times two?, that excitement that raced through your body?, well, that feeling and emotion (for those that are wanting it, and lets be honest not all do, and that's ok) is pretty much celebrated with the same excitement, hopes and dreams as every other wanted pregnancy.
Your emotions are not judged by the time of day, the week you found out, the brand of test you used or the means you used to get pregnant, they are all just as valid as the next pregnancy announcement, and so then why?, why is it in the death of a pregnancy is it acceptable for one to judge the loss of ones pregnancy with a different level of care? Love and empathy?.
Does it really matter to you the gestation of the soul passed?, but more importantly, does it matter to the Mother?.
A cuddle can have so much healing power, a shoulder rub, a wipe of a tear from a friends face, a kiss on the forehead, they are all things that speak volumes without a word needed to be said, and they are all acceptable forms of being there for someone, sometimes, you need not speak, just listen, and be there.
As I sat on this park bench today to escape the feelings of my own loss, I turned and read the cold plaque pressed against my back, I did not in any way intentionally pick this spot to sit today, but it happened. Only the angels know why.
It made me feel a sense of urgency to get back to work to the little souls in my studio and finish what it is I do best, send them home in the form of a healing keepsake, I want every Baby, Pet, Father, Mother and Friend returned home this week to be with their families for Christmas, order due or not, I am feeling the feels.
A loss is a loss.