I'm not showing you my tits!

I'm not showing you my tit's, don't expect it, don't ask for it, don't be disappointed.

 I have been on social media for many years, I have run a business on various platforms for well over 6 years now and I have followed so many empowering women, real woman, ones with confidence and some who are slowly finding it, some who are conservative but slowly coming out of their shell, some that are returning into their shell, and some who have burst their shell wide open beyond turning back.

I am one who truly believes that body confidence and mental health is the core root of the utmost importance in one's life, to truly find self-love if you don't have these basic but hard to accomplish foundations, then everything else is so hard to build on.

But when is it too much? And when does it become more of a social pressure issue than a journey of self-love and expression? When is that turning point when one's audience expects this from you, and you have to deliver?.

Entertaining an audience is a hard gig, any online presence entrepreneur will tell you that being in front of your audience and finding you "click" is probably the hardest thing to do, finding what it is that they want from you, then keeping that groove, seeing what is too little, too much, too expressive or to real is something that there is not a business module for you to study or course to cover, it is you, just you and your audience, and of course, your audiences expectations of you.

What is wrong with keeping it real?, what is wrong with just feeling like you can pick up that phone, go live and just chat, raw, real and totally in your messy bun and no make up?, well, surprisingly, nothing!, I think you will find that the audience on the other side of the phone is probably in the same state, if not worse, or maybe better if they are lucky, and they, to my surprise, appreciate your rawness and reality, because suddenly, you are just like them. 

Human.

I recently had a discovery call with an Instagram guru, they looked promising, we were chatting business because, yes, Instagram and social media don't just grow its audience and covert them down your sales funnel on its own, you have to invest in your business, and for me, my social platform is the base of my business.

At first, it went well, she was encouraging, uplifting, and then we got into the nitty-gritty of what SHE thought I was lacking, and do you know what I was apparently "lacking"?, Tits! When we cut through all of the bullshit and got down to what it is that she thought would catch my audiences eye, it was my body, raw, nude, in your face and out there for the world to see.

I was being compared to others on social media; I was being told that if I want the numbers, I have to get my tits out because this is what has worked for others.

I had to become a poster girl of rawness and sexuality if I was to "please".

You know that whatever you put out to the internet world is there forever right? putting yourself out there like that can have huge implications in the future, not just for me, but my children, my husband, and future endeavours, who is to say that one day I don't want to throw this all away and secure myself a nine to five corporate job?.

The decisions I make now could affect my future and the future of not only my branding but my children.

It could affect my marriage, I mean, how much of myself that is just between my husband and I do I want to show to the world?, do I want my husband going to the pub and having his mates talk about my last nude on social media? Absolutely not!, I would never put him in that situation.

The pressure of woman's expectation on other women to bear it all seems to be levelling up to the expectation of men expecting woman to be their constant sexual visual stimulation, I have literally seen other women bully other Woman because they dare to say they are unhappy with their bodies and see themselves as not good enough, so where is this message coming from?

I am finding its ok to be "fat", but get naked in that "fat" and you are a rockstar.

It is ok to comment on a woman's naked post with "dam babe your as hot AF", but it is not ok to comment "are you respecting yourself in this post of just pleasing your audience?".

Where is the line drawn?

Why does she have to be naked to be beautiful?, she is the same dam person under them tracksuit pants!

Now, I do agree that stepping in front of your audience in your confident form is encouraging for some, even inspirational, it can have a domino effect in encouraging others to feel the same about themselves, but at what expense?.

I have seen so many go down this rabbit hole, one minute they are sweet, motherly, and real, then BAM!, their tits are out and their audience is rooting for more!, what is this saying about the naked goddess?, is it saying "YES GIRL!, you have now found your TRUE sexuality and you now have power!", or is it saying "You were not enough before and now you are"?, Its a fine line, I mean, what is wrong with just being YOU from the start?.

I have recently unfollowed some accounts that I once adored, they became to much for me, I am not a sensitive soul by any means and I am NOT a prude, but I actually feel uncomfortable seeing these women turn into a porn hub just to please their audience, it isn't needed, and although it shouldn't, it does actually offend some, you niche your audience when you become so bold, and that may not be a bad thing in some cases, but what is wrong with having people judge you for how you ARE, instead of who everyone else wants you to be?.

Look, I'm not saying I will never show skin, I am not saying that I will never post a raw and honest breastfeeding picture, I am just saying that I will not be anything different to the true self that I am, and I believe that this is what TRUE confidence is about.

Shocking your audience with raw and in your face advertisement has and does work, look at all of the latest advertisements lately on-road safety, smoking, domestic violence, some of these campaigns are real and raw and in your face, and it works! yes, it does sometimes offend also, there are always the dainty daisies out there, but it's real, and the images burn into the subconscious of the viewer and sparks some sort of powerful shock value reality that stays with them.

We, as woman, are not a campaign, we are not someone's audience, demand, or expectation, we are powerful, emotional and deserve respect, from all genders, and all you have to offer to anyone is yourself.